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My Final Razzie Nominating Ballot "Choices" for 2019


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  • Anonymous
    Joined:
    Jan 1st, 1970
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    #1202715275

    My Official Razzie 2018 Nominating Ballot (My FINAL year as a voter for this lazy unfunny garbage scam of an awards organization…)

    Worst Picture (NO WRITE-INS ALLOWED WITH JUST 11 OPTIONS WTF?! Also, there was only 1 write-in slot with very little room to write in for all the other categories.)
    1. Death of a Nation
    2. Fifty Shades Freed
    3. Gotti
    4. The Happytime Murders
    5. Holmes & Watson

    Worst Director
    1, 2, 3, 4. (write-ins) “AWrinkleInTime,”“ChinaSalesman”“SlenderMan””Vice” (EXACTLY as I had to write it given the little space there was was in the one write-in slot I was allowed for this category on my ballot. The laziness of so little room being allowed for my own Razzie choices is truly shameful.)
    5. Dinesh D’Souza and Bruce Schooley “Death of a Nation”

    Worst Actor
    1. Dinesh D’Souza “Death of a Nation”
    2. Johnny Depp (voice only) “Sherlock Gnomes”
    3. Will Ferrell “Holmes and Watson”
    4. Donald J. Trump (as himself) “Death of a Nation” and “Fahrenheit 451”
    5. (write-in) Alden Ehrenreich “Solo: A Star Wars Story”

    Worst Actress
    1, 2. (write-ins) ToniCollette”Hereditary,”ConstanceWu”CrazyRichAsia (ALL I had room for, that is literally verbatim from what I could fit on my ballot. To quote Roger Ebert on “Fight Club,” a classic he disliked, “Hereditary” and “Crazy Rich Asians” were “beloved by many, not by me.”
    3. Joey King “Slender Man”
    4. Anna Faris “Overboard”
    5. Bella Thome (WHY IS HER NAME “Thorne” SPELLED WRONG?! Yet another example of blatant laziness this Razzie year. I kid you not, these awards graduated to becoming a full-blown scam this year! I just don’t think “Thome” is a good actress in general. I haven’t seen her movie, which you could call lazy, but my laziness is nowhere near the level of John Wilson’s regarding this ballot.)

    Worst Supporting Actor
    1, 2. (write-ins) DericMcCabe”WrinkleTime,” MikeTyson”ChinaSalesman” (Again, EXACTLY as I had to write it due to there being so little room in the 1 tiny write-in slot I was allowed! How is this level of laziness not being more widely criticized and reported upon?!)
    3. Justice Smith “Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom”
    4. John C. Reilly “Holmes & Watson”
    5. James Franco “Kin” (I haven’t seen this movie and I’d actually bet $25 John Wilson the head of the Razzies never saw it either. It is telling the only reason Franco is on this ballot and the movie itself is shortlisted nowhere else is due to the sexual misconduct allegations against him. Screw it, I’ll take the bait on this one. I doubt Franco would even give a shit if he does get nominated and finds out.)

    Worst Supporting Actress
    1. Kelly Preston “Gotti”
    2. Jaz Sinclair “Slender Man”
    3. Elizabeth Banks “The Happytime Murders”
    4. Melania Trump (as herself) “Death of a Nation”
    5. Kellyanne Conway (as herself) “Death of a Nation”

    Worst Screenplay
    1, 2, 3. (write-ins) Sorry to Bother You, Slender Man, Hereditary
    4. Death of a Nation
    5. Fifty Shades Freed

    Worst Remake, Rip-off, or Sequel (This was the only category to have as many as 14 options to choose from. So little choice, so pathetic there was even that few!)
    1. Death of a Nation (Sequel to Hillary’s America)
    2. Pacific Rim: Uprising
    3. Predator (2018 Remake)
    4. Fifty Shades Freed
    5. (write-in) Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

    Worst Screen Combo
    1. (write-in) Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard / Jurassic World2 (I had so little room to write dammit…)
    2. Donald J, Trump & His Perpetual Pettiness and Self Pity “Death of a Nation” and “Fahrenheit 11/9”
    3. Jamie Dornan & Dakota Johnson (Talk About Your Anti-Climax!) “Fifty Shades Freed”
    4. Any Two Actors or Puppets (Especially in Those Creepy Sex Scenes) “The Happytime Murders”
    5. Will Ferrell & John C. Reilly (Trashing Two of Literature’s Most Beloved Characters) “Holmes and Watson”

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    Anonymous
    Joined:
    Jan 1st, 1970
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    #1202715276

    Re-posting my epic goodbye rant to these awards from the Offical Razzies thread as well.

    I would like to sadly announce that this will be my FINAL year as a Razzie voter. Last year, I really naively thought they had finally gotten their shit together with the increased number of voting options on the nominating ballot to having 5 write-in slots available for the categories. This year, there is not even a single freaking write-in slot available for Worst Picture and only 1 in every other category, where there is only as many as 14 options available to vote on in just 1 stinking category! The write-in slots have limited space so I have to not include the names of the people and only the films or else I will only be able to have room to include 1 write-in. Doesn’t John Wilson know this already, or was he too lazy to even check that out, or is he so egotistical about what HE and HE ALONE believes are the Worst movies of the year that he is willing to screw over his paying voters?! I tend to believe the latter by this point, I’m just so exhausted by all this.

    Every smart and sane human being who values their hard-earned money or even just their dignity as an opinionated movie watcher should end their Razzies membership and stop paying after this mess just like I’m doing.

    These Razzies themselves ironically deserve a Razzie for the biggest and most obnoxiously unfunny pathetic “joke” (really more of scam by this point, let’s be real here) of a Movie Awards! I know they don’t take themselves seriously, but this isn’t self-deprecating or funny in the slighest anymore, it is beyond lazy! I’m sick and tired of giving $25 to John Wilson only to be let down, this year harder than ever. Well, no more. I am still going to vote on the nominees and winners this year, but after that, to quote an underrated Kelly Clarkson song, “Never Again.”

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVYesEpMr84

    …Aaaaand to quote a classic Taylor Swift song, you and me Razzies, “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together.”

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WA4iX5D9Z64

    After I’ve done my nominating and final voting this year, of course. Gonna milk this shit for the barely anything it is worth. Seriously, John Wilson gives us voters so few options and doesn’t even bother putting the time into giving us more write-ins or gives us none for WORST PICTURE OF THE YEAR, that I can’t believe he is so incredibly greedy he won’t just end these Razzies and list his least fave films or films that looked the dumbest that he didn’t see on Twitter. Start a blog dude, since you’re clearly not interested in giving your voters a fair choice by giving them so little options (even as few as 10 in some categories) to choose from. I wish someday someone would start an organization that has the purpose of awarding the Worst in cinema, that is simply significantly less insultingly lazy in how it is organized and also way less insanely limiting in its choices to vote for.

    Anyone who seriously thinks Venom is one of the Top 11 Worst films of 2018 didn’t see enough movies. I hate when people talk like that because it is all subjective, but with so few options on the ballot John Wilson is basically deciding the nominees himself! Hell, Pacific Rim: Uprising, Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, A Wrinkle in Time, Predator, and even Solo: A Star Wars Story were ALL way worse than Venom! WTF Razzies, this is a deserved and 100% merited bitter, deeply disappointed, and pissed off GOOD-BYE. 🙁

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    Thatcher
    Participant
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    Jan 3rd, 2018
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    #1202715318

    Hysterical Collette for the win!

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    Anonymous
    Joined:
    Jan 1st, 1970
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    #1202715369

    @dameaudrey Razzies voters will either be too lazy or too stupid (sorry if that hurts people’s feelings) to be aware enough to vote for Collette or Hereditary in general, hate to break it to you. Same with the generally reviled (except in Malaysia where it has a cult following) China Salesman and the much-loved Sorry to Bother You, both shitfests in my eyes.

    I watched more awful movies this year than even John Wilson himself did in 2018, I freaking guarantee it. I voted for as many write-ins as I was able to, so that I can say I at least ended my days as a Razzie voter on what I consider as high a note as was possible.

    Shit, I just realized I forgot to vote for Hotel Artemis anywhere. Ah well, I kept having to remind myself that movie even existed. It was terrible, but alas it was more “forgettable” terrible than scarringly terrible like Sorry to Bother You, Hereditary, A Wrinkle in Time, and (DAMN there not being a single write-in slot for Worst Picture!!!) f**king Slender Man were.

    I had kind of planned on voting for Charlie Day for Worst Supporting Actor for his roles in Hotel Artemis and Pacific Rim: Uprising. I wouldn’t have had room to write him or even one of those movies in anyway, since I could barely even fit McCabe and Tyson’s names and films in. I have so much love for It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia that I won’t lose any sleep for having forgotten to try and fit in Day, I just wish he would pick better movies roles and quit saying yes to easy paychecks, that’s all.

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    EmmyWinner
    Participant
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    Apr 28th, 2016
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    #1202715374

    You sound so miserable here…

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    Anonymous
    Joined:
    Jan 1st, 1970
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    #1202715379

    @emmywinner Who, me? I’ve explained why I’m rightfully upset, I don’t know what the point of your comment was. Haven’t you ever felt crushing disappointment at something in your life ever, even once? Come on, GTFO of here with that.

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    Anonymous
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    #1202715386

    Just for my own amusement, I thought I’d count up the movies that received the most mentions on my nominating ballot.

    Death of a Nation (9 votes)

    Fifty Shades Freed (4 votes)

    Slender Man (4 votes)

    Holmes and Watson (4 votes)

    Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (3 votes)

    The Happytime Murders (3 votes)

    Everything else ended up receiving 2 votes or less, whether I wanted certain films to receive more votes or not. Miserably lazy excuse for a Razzie ballot, miserably pathetic excuse for an awards that make you PAY to vote for, what a damn scam.

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    Miles
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    Oct 22nd, 2016
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    #1202715387

    These are the ravings of a lunatic. I thought that when you came back on GoldDerby and changed your username you would be a little less self-important and over the top. I was wrong.

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    Anonymous
    Joined:
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    #1202715389

    @miles_allen “Ravings of a lunatic?” That sounds needlessly rude right there. Come on, “ravings of a lunatic,” listen to yourself. Take a step back dude, my points are inarguable. You don’t have to agree that Sorry to Bother You or Hereditary were bad movies, obviously. Still, you sound needlessly bitter about my having grown understandably sick and tired of the lazy incompetence in the way these awards were handled.

    John Wilson has been the only self-important one here. I’ve been perfectly clear about this. I also have sincere passion with my criticisms, and if that is considered too “over-the-top” for you then maybe try getting off your high horse and looking at this from a nuanced perspective. Insanely limiting the number of films to vote on with little to no write-in options, these are good critiques. Sorry if those critiques trigger you, sadly.

    Are you going to try and get me banned or some shit for venting my valid criticisms at these awards? Like I said, take a step back and really look at yourself. “Ravings of a lunatic…” *sigh* Please sir, quit being so intolerant and weird about someone expressing their reasonable opinions. Thank you.

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    Anonymous
    Joined:
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    #1202715390

    These are the ravings of a lunatic. I thought that when you came back on GoldDerby and changed your username you would be a little less self-important and over the top. I was wrong.

    Oh, and also, this rude and intolerant comment was reported. You gotta treat people a little less condescendingly, get off your high horse. I was having fun with those song references by the way, but you insist on being disrespectful and taking shit too seriously, and ignoring a person’s own valid critiques about an awards… Get a life, dude. Words of wisdom for you to perhaps consider this new year. 🙁

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    notarobot
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    Jan 22nd, 2019
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    #1202744921

    You’re funny. I love these responses and your take on where the Razzies have gone. What’s next do you think? And how do I contact you privately?

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